Man, Jhood makes me feel awesome. Though all this crap's been going down, I'm keeping that smile. We have a theory that when things get bad, we're going to say, "man.. things can't get much better!" And hey, a positive outlook has to change, right? YEAH! Man, this weekend will rock. I mean, c'mon.. IT HAS TOO. So, this is what I couldn't say. My dad got my wrist fractured. He pulled me out of my car by my wrist. That's why I have to wear a lame wrist wrap. But whatev. Mahon thinks I'm gothic. Which I think is hiLArious. Bought some awesome red eyeshadow. Lovin' my contacts. Bought an awesome Elvis and Lenin. (seperate) Everyone should buy Punk Rock Holocaust. It's one of the most awesome movies EVER. Plus, it totally has Bert. Mmm. He gets killed though. Everyone does, actually. Lol. Anyways, I'm hanging it up with Ian. Erica on Sunday? Hailey on Saturday? Dunno, but I'm hoping for the best. Let's get this clear, I admire Cat Lemos. She's seriously a cool kid, no matter what goes down. And the whole Jon Morgan thing, I don't do grudges. All the same it'll take some time for me to get used too. Seeing my friends all hanging around him makes it a little hard to swollow. Just another thing I'll adjust too. It is bothersome, he's a cool guy. FRIEND, AWESOME FRIEND. Ugh, we're not even that. Don't you hate square one. I think I should just go back to square one with most of my friends. I'm scared for tomorrow. Jhood said he'll be there for me, which makes me smile. I have to work on my project with Sophia, Jess, and Paige. It's going to rock. I'm kinda upset about what Hailey said. It was that ONE day that everyone made fun of me for being Asian. That bothered me. Made me almost ashamed, I've NEVER been ashamed. It sucked. So, I think that's that. Losing Mike as a friend kinda blows. And I feel horrible that he's not talking to Ian. I guess this whole thing is my fault. My shoulders are getting heavy. But, the weight can be good. It'll all work itself out in the end. Well, to bed I go. I've been sleeping a lot. I leave you with...........
All the possibility and promise just weighs on me so heavily- and I try but I'm not convincing- your lips, they pout and twist- and I die trying just to keep myself from kissing you!- you take in everything with a certainty I envy- its somehow all I need- just keep me guessing please!- darling, all the awkward jump start stalling conversations- mean much more to me than anything- it comes down to me and you- and whether we're supposed to or not, we still will- we're so much better off than them- all the possibility and promise just weigh on me so heavily... A LOOK- A LAUGH- A MILE- a second passes by and I regret it- words just aren't right- sometimes I just can't explain- all the ways you devastate me- always on my my mind!
and i lied to myself and said it was for the best/ so now faith is replaced with a logic so cold/ I've disregarded that I was/ now that I'm older/ and I know much more than I did back then/ but the more I learn/ the more I can't understand/ and I've becoeme content with this life that I lead/ where I drink too much and don't believe in much of anything/ and I lie to myself/ and say ~its for the best~ /we're moving forward but holding ourselves back/ and we're waiting on something that will never come
Okay, well thanks to Jhood I feel great. He says that someone who doesn't opt to be with me is making a HUGE mistake. He said, "1-your beautiful, 2-your kind, 3-your so great!" Aw!!! Love you guys. And let the people whom you love know! PS!!!!! Leave a time where I made an impact on your life or a favorite memory of yours of us. I'll reply with the same! Post that request in your journal to see what people say!